Thursday, December 3, 2009

Cats, Dang It!

Cats love our gelato--it's true--but they shouldn't eat too much of it, 'cause they will get spoiled rotten and maybe also gain secret mind powers. Spoiled kitties moving furniture with their minds is a really scary thing you don't want to have to deal with, trust me.

Unicorns used to eat gelato, but they are now forced to live outside the "irreality cone" and are lost to us. Someday (maybe after the next imminent polar shift) when the electromagnetic veil is lifted, we will hopefully be able to feed cioccolato scuro to our mythical, horned, ungulate friends.

My cat just mind-scanned me to see what I was thinking, and wishes to remind me that the now-extinct thylacene used to gobble triple cones of bacio, pistacchio, and stracciatella gelato so fast and so often that they had permanent "ice cream headache," thus the terrible grimace they always wore - Crazy! Thank you, dearest Cat Overlord! He also wants me to bring home a pint of fior di latte and to relay this special message to oppressed cats everywhere:

"mew! mew! miow! rowr!"

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