Friday, September 30, 2011

Hey, do you like sandwiches?

'Cuz y'know, we've got a buncha new ones! One of the suggestions we've gotten from you, loyal Capogiro regular, is that you'd really like some Capoawesome that travels a little better. So we put our head together (Trust that there are plenty of days when we collectively have one--MAYBE--head among all of us. "Dizzy good" is a lifestyle, dontcha know.) and came up with some really tasty, healthy, classic versions of sandwiches and then found these great boxes to pack them up in. (...in which to pack them up? Get off my back, I'm scramblin'!)

BAM. SAMMICH. PACKED UP AND READY TO ROLL.


So. CapoAwesomeWich. The boxes legitimately, truly keep what's packed inside fresh for a few hours. Grab one in the morning and it's ready to nom at lunch, wherever you are! And simple! Egg salad, tuna salad, BLT...you know. Lunch staples. But WE'RE making them, so you know they're delicious, with ingredients as local as we can find them. And healthy! They're all coming in at not much more than 400 calories, if you're playing along at home.

Know what else is awesome? Mulled wine. It's about that time, don't you think? Sarah's whippin' up a batch as I pound out this post. (Someone asked me once if I was mad at the keyboard. NO, I said. I JUST TYPE EMPHATICALLY.)

And all this other new stuff! Candy hippos! Candy from Britlandia or somewhere! The bundt cakes (still so good)! We've got new beer on deck at CapoPenn! Am I kinda shouting? I took some cold medicine this morning and I'm a little loopy!

Anyway. Your video for the weekend, per Sarah's request:



Tom Waits has a new album on the way! I'm as giddy as a Jockey Full of Bourbon!

We'll see you soon, yeah?

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

What the &%@# is a Whoopie Pie?!

Photo cred: Caitlin

When I was a sophomore in college, I started dating someone who was from Eastern Pennsylvania. After a while, it became time to meet the parents, and we drove hundreds of miles to her hometown of Johnstown, PA. We stopped near Pittsburgh at a tiny roadside general store to grab some munchies and smokes. Near the register, there was an enormous pile of these things called 'Gobs', which looked like ice cream sandwiches but were not frozen. My interest was piqued, and I bought one. Let me tell you, this thing was DEEEEELicious! Two sandwiches of chocolate cake smushed together with a sweet cream filling? Count me in.

Many years and several girlfriends later, I moved to Philadelphia. I started seeing these things called 'Whoopie Pies' everywhere, and they strangely looked exactly like the tasty treat I had before. So apparently, after doing a little research, these are the same thing, but folks in Johnstown wanted a special name for them. It is also disputed whether or not the Whoopie Pie originated in Pennsylvania Amish country or in merry old New England. Whoopie Pies are the official state treat of Maine, but their history is an oft-disputed thing.

In any case, we gots 'em. Good ones. Capogiro just started carrying these sweet little sandwiches from Coco Love Homemade. We're stocking four types of Whoopie Pies; Chippie (chocolate chip cakes, cream cheese), PBM (chocolate cakes, peanut butter mousse), Red Alert (red velvet cakes, cream cheese), and Tomfoolery (snickerdoodle cakes, coconut buttercream). Whatever you want to call them. you best come down to your neighborhood Capo and grab some right now.
Do it.

When Capo Has a Crush, it's Serious

When you combine true food love with true local love with one brilliant kitchen willing to try anything once, you wind up with beer gelato, concocted using Dogfish Head's best and brightest flavors. When Wendy, our local Dogfish rep, calls me breathless saying "SARAHYOUGUYSGOTTAMAKEGELATOWITHTHIS!", I know it's serious. And guys, this beer is crazy amazing. It's got a huge ABV, firstly, so at 10.5% you know it's going to be flavorful from the get, but what really shines is the mint finish. They used 100 lbs. of organic mint from Green Grocer, a local and sustainable produce distributor based out of Washington, DC. The mint flavor comes in at the end, once you've been courted by the initial stone fruit and chocolate notes. It's a serious beer to get through a glass of, but if you're into barley wines or doppelbocks (or the ever elusive trippelbock), then you'll be right at home with it.
What're we gonna do with it? Make it awesome. You know what else we're gonna do?
GET WAY MORE AWESOME.
With Punkin Ale gelato.Cause we love you. We might even have a crush on ya. They'll both be hitting the cafes this weekend, just in time for the Midtown Village Fall Festival! Hooray! Beer for everyone. Sort of.

Friday, September 23, 2011

One last thing before the weekend!

So La Regina affascinante e benevola totally stole my blog idea for the day (she gets to do that, she does sorta own the joint, after all), but she also TOTALLY forgot the most important part of a Friday blog post. A groove. A beat. A little something to which you might shake your humina-humina.

So to highlight our new vegan chocolate bundt cake (which is PRETTY darn tasty and you should come get some)...A Tribe Called Quest.




If you don't already know (and I'm confident a bunch of you don't), you're just going to have to listen to the song to figure out what it has to do with chocolate bundt cakes. And c'mon! It's kid-friendly hip-hop! It's funny and beaty and doesn't have ANY questionable language at all and C'MON! Don't let your brood listen to fancy-haired Canadian teen moppets! Give 'em the good stuff!

Anyway. Stay dry, everyone. Grab your brelly and come have cake!

BakingBakingBaking...BakingBakingBaking.....


That is what we have been doing here at the Capo Big Kitchen. Working on new recipes and old. Our amazing Capogirians have been asking y'all what you'd like us to carry. We have heard everything from t-shirts to large amounts of ham. All good suggestions, by the way. We are moving on them all. Sort of. One thing heard over and over was "Big Cookies" and "more things that I can grab and go.

Get yer recycle lunch bags all cleaned up! Capo is rolling out the grab and go, just what you asked for! Big cookies, brownies, magic bar type thingies, energy bars and wait for it.....sandwiches. There is a lot to be said about a simple ham and cheese sandwich done right! It's coming..

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Concord Grape tastes like Jesus

I didn't grow up religious. When I was kid, my parents were those kind of apathetic W.A.S.P.s who only brought up God if I was doing something that they thought was amoral but didn't have any other logical reason to back it up.

Age 6

Me: Why do I have to eat lima beans when I hate them and peas are just as good for me and we have some in the cupboard?
Mom: Because I said so
Me: That makes no sense
Mom: Because God said so
Me: Dang.

Age 10
Me: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?
Dad: Can't happen
Me: How come?
Dad: God won't let it
Me: Oh...

Age 15
Me: I don't get why I can't date girls even though I don't like boys at all and girls are way prettier and smell better and I love them sooooooo much
Mom and Dad: Because God said so
Me: That makes no sense
Mom and Dad: It's in the Bible
Me: Hrmm...

In any case, this crazy thing happened when I was about 11. Overnight I suddenly became DEATHLY AFRAID OF HELL. The kids down the street went to church regularly, so I decided to tag along.. I started going to church every Sunday, then also to youth group on Wednesday nights, and Friday mornings before school. Seeing as how I grew up in Virginia, this inevitably meant that I became a full-on Southern Baptist.

Lemme tell you something that I quickly came to learn about this church - They hated err'ybody. If you weren't a white, middle-income, blue-collar Republican with two blond children and a dog named Buck, they would find some reason to hate you.

The other thing I learned about Southern Baptists was that their youth groups are dens of debauchery. They had the "love the sinner hate the sin" thing going, so we could pretty much do whatever we wanted, as long as we knew that the sin should be hated. I smoked my first cigarette at youth group. I stayed up all night and lived off of Air-Heads for three days at a Baptist camp retreat. I drank vodka for the first time at a church lock-in. I got to second base with a boy at a Christian rock concert. There was more swearing in the youth group meetings than I ever experienced at school. Cussing was allowed as long as you didn't take the Lord's name in vain. You could yell, "I $%&*@ LOVE Jesus!" and it would only be met with encouraging smiles.

My time with the church didn't last too long. For me, science, open-mindedness, and overall religious cynicism quickly won out, but during my time there I tried everything I could to be super involved so that I would avoid the fiery depths of Hell.

At one point, I even wore a little white robe and helped with the Communion ceremony. Baptists don't care about having their bread blessed by any higher authority, you can just grab it from the gas station. One Sunday a month, they would send me up the road to the Q-Mart to bring back bread and grape juice. They preferred to use Kings Hawaiian, because it looked like actual rustic bread loaf, and all the pomp and circumstance would be lost during the ceremony if the preacher tore apart a hunk of Wonder Bread. Their drink of choice to represent the blood of the savior, Concord Grape. I loved that stuff. When the communion ceremony was over, I would snatch up the extra and gleefully chug it behind the stage before anyone noticed I was there. Yesterday, when I sampled this flavor I had a flashback to my days of sitting on uncomfortable pews, smoking cigarettes out back of the old Baptist campground, and thinking of more ways to get in trouble and still keep my soul intact. Ha-lle-lujah.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Capo DATE NIGHT!

Many of you may know our beloved Anya at 13th street. A seasoned barista AND theatre big wig, she leads a double life chock full of excitement between Capogiro and Theatre Exile. 


Today, we bring you a word from Anya. 


Make your evening a date full of GREAT theatre and GREAT gelato!!!! Grab a latte at 13th street before the show....
The Fringe 2011 has ended, but weep not People of the Arts!
Theatre Exile has extended their run of
 the Philadelphia Premier of Annie Baker's "The Aliens"  until September 25th at Studio X.
Set in present day Vermont, this play opens the window on two men settled into lifestyles full of ambitious thoughts and little motivation. "The Aliens" is a great story of life providing what you need, when you least expect it.
Theatre Exile is producing this piece out of their South Philadelphia location at 13th and Reed. 
Grab a latte at Capo 13th before the show.... and finish the perfect date with gelato at Yunk!  Studio X is JUST around the CORNER from CAPOGIRO on PASSYUNK Ave!!! 

Friday, September 16, 2011

Let's do this one more time!

So at CapoPenn we've been doing the Sustainable Saturdays thing all summer. Sarah's been doing yeowoman's work getting us some awesome ingredients from hyper-local producers to pair up with UCity District's other events on every third Saturday. (Remember the honey from Woodlands Community Apiary? SO good.)

We've got one more special sorbetto for you to wrap up the summer--and it is time to wrap up the summer. (Didja kinda notice it was cool out this morning? Hello jeans! I have missed you, because you make me look GOOD.) So, directly from the folks at Mill Creek Urban Farm, we've got some super-sexy pears. Just a few! And they look REAL tasty. I'm hoping there'll be sorbetto left when I get in to close this jawn tomorrow night. Don't go eating all of it before I get here! And not that we'd make asparagus gelato (...I think), but I've got this intrinsic compulsion to share artistic pictures of produce in situ:

Conspicuously appropriated from the Mill Creek Website. Nice shot!

And Mill Creek really is our kind of place. Their vision statement, from the website: "We envision a world in which everyone has access to affordable, healthy, culturally appropriate food, and where local communities work collaboratively to build a food system that is socially just and environmentally and economically sustainable." To which we say, "Yeah, what they said!"

So listen, those jeans? Yeah, they're workin' for you. And the weather's definitely turning--which some of us heartily welcome. Saturday looks like a great day to take a walk, so come by and have food made where you live by people you know with ingredients you can pronounce!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

AUTUMN CAKES AND SWEATERS

Autumn. Seriously. Rules.

This is the season when Philly booms culturally. Here is a video explicating my favorite piece of art:


Get out there and see stuff before winter creeps among us and you're stuck inside watching Starz and Bravo.

Love,
The Capoyunkies




I'll be the first to admit, I'm a pretty fickle person. Besides A few things I very frequently do a complete overhaul on my interests. I'm often the guy who 'loves' something one second, and is completely repulsed by it the next. So when I say 'my favorite band', I mean it more seriously then the power of a million suns going supernova.
Well, my favorite band 'WHY?' is playing a show at The First Unitarian Church in Philly tomorrow night. I'm freaking out, even right now I want to run out of work and get in line to pick up my will call tickets. I could probably wait a day just to be right up in the front pews
ANYWAY I don't want to go on a rant (because it will make me seem more insane than I already am) about how much this band means to me etc. etc. BUT I think all of you guys in the internetosphere should check them out. Also they are playing with one of my current favorite dudes, 'Serengeti'.




These guys are INSANE live, so I recommend to anyone who can to come on out, the show is super cheap. <3

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

BUNDT CAAAAAAAKE!!

Wow. Delicious. Steph has done it again with her tasty treats. She's been working tirelessly, making us some delicious new goodies. Introducing.... BUNDT CAKE MADNESS!! Premiering now, Capogiro's own homemade Banana Bundt Cake and Pumpkin Bundt Cake. More flavors are in the works as we speak. They. Are. Amazing. So moist and delicious, these cakes go great with either a cappuccino or a cup of gelato. For a mere $2.95 a slice, they're going quick, so come and grab a piece at your local Capogiro today. For your viewing pleasure, here is a picture of a stunning bundt.

And for the sake of sheer ridiculousness, here is a picture of a bunny stunt.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

A TRIBUTE TO CHALK MARKERS



Life-altering Flavors...
One of my most favorite tasks as a Capogiro barista is to use chalk markers to write daily flavor recommendations and/or soup offerings, decorate tip jars and bagel displays, and update our signs with new treats. Something about the liquid, opaque, bright colors is just PERFECT for filling every available surface with block letters or cursive handwriting.
When Dawne came back from the store one day with a brand new orange marker, it was like Christmas!!

Check out some recent chalk-marker art at 13th street... It will brighten your day right up.

Love,
Kristin, Chalk Marker Master

Omg delicious.
Sooooo refreshing!
           
We love you!

Its TOTALLY Dan's Birthday.


Heres to everyone's favorite Capogirian.
He's the most awesomest guy we know and today he's celebrating his birthday.
If you see him today, give him a big hug and maybe some pastries. . . a cannoli from Termini if you REALLY want to make his day. Happy birthday, Dan.... we loves ya!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Reason #2,946,501 of Why I Hate My Dogs



I love animals. I am not an animal hater. I do not wear fur and I have adopted many a street cat in my life. BUT (big but), I hate my dogs. I know, I know, "hate" is a strong word. Strong, and appropriate. I don't want to hurt them or starve them, or anything like that...I just want some sweet old dog lady to take them away from me. Far away. Only a sweet old dog lady could give them what they need. You see, a few years ago the best dog in the world, Virgil, died. He died suddenly and unexpectedly. One day he was running about doing his usual "sheriff" stuff and within two weeks he was dead due to cancer. It was horrific. One of the worst days of my life. He was 14 years old. He enriched our lives and his absence was painful. I think about him on a daily basis.

Fast forward four months...."Let's just go look at some puppies." John suggested. "No buying, just look. It's too soon." Well, any idiot knows that you do not "look" at puppies. We left with not one, but TWO puppies after jumping through some imaginary hoops. There were so many signs that something was seriously wrong, but we were so traumatized that we just did not notice. When we walked into the barn, the puppies ran away and hid. She did not allow you to touch any puppies. You could only touch them once you purchased them. Who does that? Have you ever not been allowed to touch puppies? Also, why were they running and hiding against the back wall and why were some of the puppies laying flat on their bellies? This was not normal behavior. When we asked, she said that these were "therapy dogs" and they are bred not to bite or exhibit any aggressive behavior. Okay.. She needed to "screen" us to see if we could purchase a dog. Seems legit.

Of course we purchased two pups. I took them to the vet and they both had some serious parasite that was present in dogs that live in bad conditions. The vet questioned me heavily and I assured her that the property seemed clean and sanitary. We went through a thorough process to purchase these dogs. This was not a mill (I started to sweat. Did I just purchase puppies from a mill. I felt sick.) I emailed the breeder (to inform her about the parasite. If they had it, all the pups did.) and she responded, "Can't read your email. Blank." So I emailed again. Same response. I called and left a message. No reply.

Quickly, we realized that these pups were not normal. They were terrified of everything. I mean everything. If you simply stood up from a chair, they were traumatized. Yelled that dinner was ready? Pee on the floor. I don't know what happened, but these pups had to have been abused. Fast forward 5 years later...... nothing has changed, in fact, it is worse. They are terrified of cars, horns, other dogs, people, walking too fast across the floor, laughter, sneezing, dropping spoons, raising your arms, the phone ringing, the door chime, bouncing balls, sweeping the floor, popcorn, I can go on..... I cannot take them to a dog park because one will attack any dog and try to run away. The other runs away after playing for a minute.

Which brings me to Reason #2,946,501 - they steal food. If I turn away for a moment, they will snatch things off the table. It is almost impossible to train them because they are terrified of everything. They slink around like they are being punished most of the time. You know that look? I don't have to yell, they punish themselves. It is impossible to train dogs that do not respond to rewards because they are scared to death all the time. Please don't email me trainers and articles about medicating your dogs. We have tried everything. Nothing helps them be less scared. Yesterday was John's birthday. I baked him a red velvet cake and made gnocchi. While I was putting the potatoes through the ricer, I turned around and found this! NOOOOOOOOO! I looked and the dogs where no where to be found. They were hiding. I ran out to the two corner stores and Rite Aid trying to find red food coloring and cake flour. None. I was so consumed I had forgotten about the potatoes. I returned to cold and now unusable potatoes. I started crying. Yes, I cried. Like a baby.

So, we went to L'Oca for dinner (which was delicious) and had half a cake. John was a good sport. Happy Birthday, Love. Anyone interested in two terrified dogs? Please do think me horrible for wanting to give away such tortured creatures. I realize that I cannot tend to them in the way that they need. We live a chaotic life. Honestly, I don't think the kids would allow it. But if we found great homes? Together? They are sweet and if you live is a quiet house...what a match! Anyone?



Friday, September 9, 2011

Apropos of nothing more than it being Friday...

Hey you know what's great on a Friday? Beats. Beats and non sequiturs. Sooooo...

--

Damn. Y'all feel that? (Would have been funnier more promptly after the earthquake. Oh, well. MOVING ON.)

--Dude, that shirt must have been REAL expensive, 'cuz it sure is ugly.

--Hands down the best bolg (sic) about the Phillies: I Want To Go To The Zoo With Roy Halladay.. Give a brother some page views and admire the MS Paint masterpieces! And the gifs. Can't forget the gifs!

--Know what this post needs? The Beastie Boys. Obviously. Let's go old school!



The bemused Mariachi band just slays me.

--So you got the memo that Steph's been lurking in the kitchen again, yeah? SOUP'S BACK! Which we're all thrilled about. BUT! She also came up with these new blackberry+almond+oat energy bars. Tasty? YOU BET! Healthy? OF COURSE! Weird stuff in 'em? DON'T YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE? COURSE NOT! Totally all natural, with ingredients you can pronounce. Come and git 'em quick, 'cuz they're flying out of here!

--Is this mostly a disjointed stream consciousness as I run up and down the stairs to my office to type ideas in as they occur to me? No WAY, dude! TOTALLY not.

--Hey, maybe we could show a little more restraint with the cologne there, huh guy?



(Real talk: I've never actually liked this song.)

--Where has my comforting gray murk gone?! There is some new yellow orb in the sky, and it's gaze is like fire on my skin! And the heavens! They are BLUE!

--You know, this whole concept was working better this morning. Let's just wrap it up with this:



BOEUF.

If it weren't for nonsense, I'd make no sense at all. Have a great weekend everyone! Come say hi!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Zuppa!


Soup is back, everybody! Steph has already started making batches of deliciousness for us, and that means that autumn is on the horizon. So far, we have some timeless vegetarian classics like Black Lentil, Cream of Potato, Yellow Lentil, and Cream of Tomato, just to get you started, and others will appear in our stores shortly (I can't wait for Potato Corn Chowder with BACON). In the meantime, here are some fun facts about soup:

Soup was first discovered about 60,000 years ago when a chicken lost a knife fight with a llama and was subsequently tossed into a molten geyser. The llama was a strict vegan but watched with smug satisfaction as the cave people started chowing down on his enemy.

Morbidly enough, the first 'wedding soup' was the result of a cannibal who hated his in-laws so much that he served them for a ceremonial nuptial supper. When asked what his secret was, he replied, "it's all relatives."

In post-industrial Britain, 'orphan taunting' was a popular sport amongst the aristocracy. The elite would stand around eating countless bowls of soup, whereas adorable little street urchins would be mocked and publicly humiliated if they asked for more. The famous combination of soup AND sandwich was invented by these rich fancypants who sought to take their bullying to a next level.

Dr. Campbell invented the first condensed soup because he was going to ride on the Hindenburg airship and didn't want to have to pay extra for checked baggage. Luckily for him, Campbell was detained at customs for questioning in an unrelated drug smuggling operation and never ended up boarding the vessel.

It is widely rumored that cold soups such as gazpacho are just as good as hot soups. This is a vicious lie and was created by General Electric in order to sell more refrigerators.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Seasons Schmeasons!

After over 2 decades in Philadelphia, I've finally come to the conclusion that I just don't have a favorite season. It's not that I don't like them, I sort of like them all, actually... for different reasons. But there's not one part of the year that I like more than all the rest. What took me 25 years to discover, is that it's the transition periods, the times between the true hearts of the seasons, that I love.
Cozy feelings of fall to winter, hopeful sunny mornings from winter into spring, gently warmer spring to summer, and  summer to glorious fall. Summer to fall is just plain wonderful. If you don't let your mind wander far enough into the chilly weather mindset, fall is perfect. Absolutely nothing compares.

Evenings begin to get cooler. The smell of the air changes. Time outside can be t-shirt or cardigan time. Or both! Nights around the fire pit aren't mosquito-ridden. Leaf piles begin to appear. You can play in (most of) those leaf piles. Teenagers aren't quiiiite as scantily clad. Pleasantly brisk mornings, and the piping cup of coffee that is so satisfying on those brisk mornings. Layers of clothing - often starring flannel - start to come out. APPLES happen! Delicious, amazing, crisp, juicy, pure, fresh, APPLES.

My top three? The things that make leaving the warm days of summer behind worth it?
1. The bea-U-tiful colors of changing leaves!
2. It's appropriate to bake pies again.
3. Sweet Potato Pecan Praline Gelato.

I just can't wait.
Neither can my boyfriend, obviously. See below. What a cutie.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

CapoYunk!!!!


People really love us here in south Philly. If being here practically every day for the last 6 months has taught me anything it is that. Here at Yunk' we can't even classify certain people as 'regulars', to do so would be silly seeing as I see the same hundreds of faces day in and day out. Around these parts EVERYONE is a regular. Heck, right now as I type we have our weeks knitting circle chatting it up over lattes and gelato right above my head! (our office is in the basement :3)
A few months ago MANY of our customers began questioning me on what day we would be closing this year. I tried my hardest to be as informative as possible, but to be honest I had no idea! Slowly the curious questions turned to forceful demands (in the sweetest way possible), "PLEASE! We love you guys, don't close!" If I had a nickle for every time this summer a customer insisted to me that they, "Love gelato in the winter too." I would probably have a fortress made of nickels. Maybe a Bentley made of nickles too.
I promised everyone I would let them know of any developments in this matter ASAP. I mentioned this blog many times so everyone knew that they could check for updates as much as they wanted (I imagine many of them sitting up late at night, refreshing the blog over and over, bloodshot eyes, waiting....waiting) Well folks get ready, because this is the first update in our schedule for this season I have received!
AS OF RIGHT NOW: We will remain open as long as you guys keep getting pumped for gelato! That's right! You guys keep your enthusiasm as high as it has been and hey, who knows? We could be open forever! Everyone should keep this in mind especially considering how South Philly has missed out on some of our AWESOME winter flavors the past two years.
SO KEEP UP THE EXCITEMENT AND WE'LL KEEP SLINGIN' THAT CREAM!

Chocolate Peanut Butter Gelato will save the world.

--When Chocolate Peanut Butter starts his guitar solo, Jimmy Page gets his lighter out.

--When you eat Chocolate Peanut Butter too fast, you don't get brain freeze. You get brain ASPLODE.


--Chooch tells Roy Halladay to pitch around Chocolate Peanut Butter. (And Ruben Amaro Jr. keeps calling us wanting to know what we'd want in trade.)

--Hurricane Irene thought about pummeling Philly, saw Chocolate Peanut Butter giving her his cool glare, and left to go beat up Ben and Jerry's instead.

--We can't make Chocolate Peanut Butter and Black Raspberry on the same day because we spend too much time shooing away unicorns and wood nymphs.



--DeSean Jackson held himself out of training camp because he'd heard a rumor we weren't going to make Chocolate Peanut Butter anymore and needed a few days to collect himself.

--Chocolate Peanut Butter is dismayed at our addiction to fossil fuels, but he's confident we'll get our act together.

--Chocolate Peanut Butter doesn't melt.

--Last week's earthquake? Too much peanut butter, not enough chocolate. Our collective shui got all unfenged.

--Chocolate Peanut Butter is always happy to change a diaper.

--In the outtakes of Anthony Bourdain's "elBulli" episode, you can just make out Tony whispering reverently to Ferran Adria, "Yeah, but have you had the Chocolate Peanut Butter?"

--Chocolate Peanut Butter doesn't have any job references on his resume because he's always been "The Boss."

--I tried to pack a pint full of only Chocolate Peanut Butter a few minutes ago. Got worried when I saw the fabric of reality warping in on itself from the sheer mass of awesome.

--Chocolate Peanut Butter thinks you should wear a bike helmet.

--The next deeper dream in Inception past the snow fort? Chocolate Peanut Butter, and no one wants to wake up.



--Chocolate Peanut butter always cleans the oatmeal pot.

--You ask Chocolate Peanut Butter, he'll tell you you're gonna be okay.



--Chocolate Peanut Butter thinks your hair looks great.