Someone is upset about missing Eddie at the Spectrum...

From the acidic bogs of New Jersey come, CRANBERRIES!!!!

(Crowd cheering/jeering/tearing off their tapas…)

Silent kin to the Huckleberry, Cranberries are chalked full of Beta Carotene AND Potassium! We’re not talking 'bout that generic, jiggly, canned crap you shove under your napkin at Thanksgiving; we’re talkin’ sweet, tart, GRADE A (for Artisanal…) Cranberry Sorbetto with special, seasonal guest: HEIRLOOM APPLE!!!

They’re only here for a short performance folks so, get your hands on ‘em while they’re fresh… (Unlike this 90’s reference). Check your local flavor listings for show times.