Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I need an intervention

The first step is admitting you have a problem. Well, something has gone terribly awry in my life, musically speaking. I used to consider myself to be a pretty hip person, scoffing at popular trends and gaily marching to the beat of my own drum. I was into indie stuff, played bluegrass on my guitar at home, went to shows of bands that wouldn't be caught dead on the radio.

This year, something has happened that has made me believe that I am in serious need of an intervention. I need to go to Top 40 Rehab.

It's absurd. I don't know what happened. I suddenly starting loving pop music and now it is destroying my life. I sing Katy Perry in the shower. When I clock in at work, I start singing, "I can see your Halo", a la Rihanna. Whilst mopping the store at night, I replace the lyrics of Taio Cruz' "Dynamite". With "I like to mop, mop, mop, mop. 'Cause all the dirt is on the top, top, top, top.." I find myself looking for chords of Kesha songs at home so that I can do my own acoustic renditions. When going to my local bar, people cringe if I go near the jukebox, because they know they will be subjected to at least 20 minutes of sheer Top 40 Hell.

I don't get it, but pop music makes me strangely happy. It's fun to dance to, has simple lyrics, and helps keep the energy up during a long shift. However I am pretty sure that Lady Gaga is eating my soul. I'm almost certain that there are subliminal messages in there that are telling me to shop at Sears and drink Starbucks coffee..

So please, friends, help me out. It's summer, so there are tons of shows happening. Take me with you. Send me suggestions for new music. I have a problem and I'm finally ready to get help.

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