Gaaaaaaaaahhhh I'm so hungry.

I mean seriously. And there's this weird new pattern to my life: every Friday in the early afternoon I find myself powerful hungry and staring at my laptop screen, having been fruitlessly noodling around on the interwebs for several hours trying to find something--anything--to spark an idea for a brilliant blog post.

Blog post ideas I have so far discarded today:

--Things I might do this weekend: sleep, geek out on sports, Taste of Philadelphia, sleep.
--Things I probably won't do this weekend: clean the bathroom, write the Great American Novel.
--Things I definitely won't do this weekend: participate in a triathlon, fly to Paris, drink white zinfandel.

Lame, right? And how would I puff any of them into a couple hundred words, anyway? Thus here we are, me writing some weird meta-blog about (sorta not really, if you think about it) writing a blog post and listening to my stomach gurgle. Did you know you could spend over ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS on an ordinary cat box cover that DOESN'T EVEN ABSORB ODORS?! (The horror. The horror.)

So this is going well. Positively thrilling. For what it's worth, I'm certainly open to suggestions about what to do this weekend. Is Taste of Philadelphia worthy? They've got food trucks this year, and everyone knows that grilled meat in tube form is improved by at least 16 percent by exhaust fumes. And there's a beer garden! So it's a maybe. Incidentally, did you know that "Taste of Philadelphia" is actually a trademark registered by some folks that will ship Tastykakes and pretzels at egregiously marked-up prices? Must kinda irritate the food festival folk. (Oh right, forgot the inescapably irritating marketing: phood phestival pholk. Phish was doing it phirst!)

Maybe I should see a movie? I never saw The Hangover, so seeing the sequel first seems wrong. Super 8, maybe? For the record, the circumstances don't exist under which I'll go see Mr. Popper's Penguins. My Jim Carrey threshold is essentially non-existent.

Okay, blogs need multi-media!




Of course, seventy three and a half billion people have already watched this, which means that you've probably seen it. Is there a video on youtube that NO ONE has ever watched? Seems like there's probably a deep philosophical discussion to be had there, probably involving the Heisenberg uncertainty principle and the Leave Britney Alone guy.

...a few moments later...

Y'know, I've never actually watched the Leave Britney Alone thing. And now I have. Just seemed like one of those things we're all supposed to do at some point on the internet. It was...well hell, it is what it is, right? I mean, you've watched it already, I don't need to tell you. So...one more thing off my bucket list?

This might actually be the worst blog post ever. Unfocused, not particularly interesting, no real central theme. Thus it seems only appropriate that I end it abruptly.