PEOPLE. SUMMER IS NOT OVER. Sure it's kinda close to over. But let's not kid ourselves: there are still several 97 degree/103% humidity days in our immediate future. And when did the pumpkin/Oktoberfest creep get so aggressive?! (Gauntlet-throwing admission in direct conflict with my blog post about Oktoberfest: I don't like German beer. Laagers? Meh. Where's the hops?)
Seriously, it's the first week of September. All the big beer folk have started rolling out their fall beers--like a week ago! And the [shudder] pumpkin spice lattes...I mean. I don't even know where to start. For one thing, this is what your (real) pumpkins look like right now:
Noooooooooooot altogether very pumpkin-y, right? Also...do you know what goes into making your pumpkin spice latte beyond milk and espresso (which are the only ingredients in a legit latte, obv)? You don't really think they're using any actual pumpkin in there, right? "Natural and artificial flavors," of course. Which means...fractionated corn! Also probably molested soybeans. And possibly petroleum. Deeeeeeeeeelicious.
Don't get me wrong, I love the fall. I'm a fall guy! Definitely my favorite season, though I'm annually (perennially?) dismayed by how quickly it always seems to creep up. Wasn't it just Memorial Day? And as much as I really tried to embrace the summer this year, to make peace with the heat and humidity and Eau de Hawt Dumpster...I tried. I really did. But no. Y'know what? Summer sucks in a lot of ways, and while it's got some upsides--eagerly looking forward to an all-day cookout this weekend--man. I ride all over this town and there are so many interesting (?) smells. Really looking forward to the cooler weather to knock that down a bit.
Anyway, here's my point: can we ease up on pushing into whatever season is next and just relax and be in whatever season we're IN? Jeez. Also: gonna need you to get offa my lawn.
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