Rhubarb: not just funny-lookin' celery

It's true! They're not even related to one another, though they don't mind you thinking it might be so (actually now that I'm poking around doing, um, "research," they really, really do look a lot alike). No, rhubarb is all its own thing. You could have a debate about whether it's even a vegetable (it's totally a vegetable) but that'd only be because you have a particularly odd affinity for a 1947 New York court ruling where it was decided that since we mostly use rhubarb to make desserts (sorbetto! also pie, but sorbetto!) it must be a fruit which is just a really weird way to make decisions about botany but I'm neither a lawyer or a botanist so what do I know and let's just go ahead and get this out of the way because we all totally knew it was coming since it was the first time any of us (me anyway) heard the word rhubarb:

So you find a lot of places making gluten-free (non-pie/crumble/cobbler/what have you) desserts with rhubarb, do ya? No? Just us, huh? Yeah, that's because we're cool like that. IS a cup comprising a scoop each (or more) of rhubarb and strawberry sorbetti a good idea on these funky-gnarly hot days we've got goin' on right now? It for sure is. And we're still poking around under all the rocks and bushes and nooks and crannies and wherever looking for every single last strawberry we can....wait, that actually sounds like we're bringing you funky strawberries that are less than delightful. Trust that that's not the case; we only use the best strawberries we can find. "Poking around under rocks" was a metaphor. Or a simile. Given I have an English degree, you would think I could remember which, but it's been a while since I took the SATs and I'd like to ask that I at least get a little recognition for having (I'm pretty sure, I had to think really hard about it) used comprising correctly.

Rightright. Mighta had two too many iced coffees today. The run-on sentences (and frequent parentheticals) could be an indicator.