YOU GOTTA COME HELP US THO

We might be in a spot of trouble. We've...we've kinda gone on a strawberry binge. I mean, can you blame us? Strawberry season is so brief, so fleeting. It's beyond our powers of control to not binge. Sooooooo we've got your various strawberry gelati. AND your strawberry sorbetti. ANNNNNND because we're a wee-bit snooty about these things and don't want you eating a bunch of corn syrup and artificial colors, we made strawberry granita, which is like water (wooder) ice except not, y'know, maybe a little toxic. (Ingredients in our strawberry granita: Strawberries. Water. Sugar. Magic.)

But we're pretty well overrun with berries. I'd take a picture of the madness except I think the berries might have made off with my phone.  We need solutions, people. The berries are run amok, and I'd sorta like my phone back (need that thing, though). Methods we've considered to rid ourselves of the scourge:

• Tiny gelato sandwiches. With berries for bread and a single pallentini-scoop of whatever flavor gelato you'd like (it's going to be strawberry and you actually don't have much choice, btw). It's like a little appetizer-sandwich. A gelato slider. An amuse-berry. 
• A strawberry-tossing competition. It's not much of a competition. Really we'd just pass you a handful of strawberries and suggest you fling them with abandon. We'll award style points, but we are going to have to ask you to take it outside. 
• Harvest all the strawberry seeds and sneak them into the Tap House's green roof thingy. Then hope for the best and maybe never buy strawberries again!
• We're going to introduce the BSLSS: Bacon, Strawberry, Lettuce, Spam, and Strawberry sandwiches for everyone. 
• Normally we reserve our wicked good soup for the cold months, but we've been forced into drastic measures. So. Think gazpacho. But, y'know. With strawberries. 
• Hats for cats made of strawberry caps.
• We could head down to World Cafe Live and offer them as earplugs to people heading into concerts. We could also run around Philadelphia indiscriminately smooshing strawberries into peoples' ears, but I could see how that might be misconstrued. 
• A "need a strawberry/leave a strawberry" jar on the counter. 
• Dear baristi: YOU'RE SO EXCITED! You're getting paid in strawberries this week! (Good luck on the strawberry black market. There's a glut for some reason.) 
• Strawberry cocktails? PFF. We're gonna serve cocktails IN strawberries. (It's okay, they'll be really strong.)
• For your grilled cheese? Yeah, that's not ketchup. S'prise!

We're open to suggestions, of course. But c'mon. It's STRAWBERRY SEASON. People harass about this all year. Do we really have to exhort you to come in?