Friday, October 28, 2011

Amen, Sister....

So yeah, what really gets me? Well, let's not really go into EVERYTHING that gets me, just what makes me want to drink heavily at any point of the day. When I see things that are clearly not artisan, but industrial made OR, when someone just makes something, anything, and labels it artisan. It drives me nuts because we make everything by hand. We roast and grind nuts, we burn sugar, we melt chocolate, we candy rinds, we drive out to the farms and pick up raw milk from a single closed herd of grass fed cows. We make it by hand EVERY FREAKING MORNING! ANDDD....We do all this stuff in small batches. 1.3 gallon batches to be exact. Oh, did I mention that we stick to the seasons and refuse to buy crappy strawberries in February. Yeah. We do. So....when I see some mass produced product being called "artisan"... it pisses me off. Really? Does it take 5 people each morning to make one batch of your stuff? Do you spend days and days candying chestnuts or banging out each pomegranate seed? There is nothing artificial, no preservatives, no colorants, nothing that is not food in our products. Maybe you are just pouring crap into a machine to be pooped out? Sorry for the graphics, but I get mad. I especially hate being compared to a product that you just take some powder and milk, pour it into the top of a machine, finish and add some fruit or squirt something out of a bottle and call it foreign...yum!!! That is not artisanal... Shame.

Which leads me to a kindred spirit That is not artisan. is a brilliant blog. It is written by a funny smart snarky woman who uses the word asshat. I love that word. Sigh. She is truly entertaining and I feel her pain. "May you be buried in a coffin that's a little too small so that some of your guts stick to the lid when it is opened." Absolutely brilliant and I think I peed a little laughing so hard. This was in response to Domino's pizza spokewhore, Fabio Top Chef Viviani. I share her rage. She is spot on! I am so sick of seeing bags of Doritos being called artisan or "chef made". I am tired of other ice cream and gelato companies calling themselves artisan when they do not even make their own product. Capogiro is a dairy. I went through the entire process of state regs, fed regs and city regs so I could handle each and every step!!! I do not have someone else make my product "to my specifications" and have the balls to call it artisan!! grrrrrr....

I do not know much about my comrade, but would love to take her out for a beer!

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