Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Berry Confused Customers

Since the kick off of berry season a couple weeks ago, I have been noticing a plethora of berry confused customers.  "I'll have some of that strawberry," they say as they point to raspberry, or "I'll have some of that blueberry," as they point to black raspberry.  No fear people, I have a phd in berry identification from Harvard University, which has the most prestigious department of berry research in the galaxy.  Please take out your notebooks, the lecture is about to begin.

Lesson 1:  Strawberry vs Raspberry
When confronted with a mysterious red and icy cold treat, look to see how much potassium you can see. This is a dead giveaway when differentiating between raspberries and strawberries and probably the easiest thing to spot.  Strawberries have more potassium than raspberries, so if you spot a lot of potassium, then you got yourself a strawberry gelato.  Also, raspberries are darker red and usually hollow because they stem has been removed.  Strawberries are bigger than raspberries and have their seeds located on the surface of the fruit.

Lesson 2: Blueberry vs Cherry
Blueberries tend to be more depressed than cherries, so the first thing to notice when trying to differentiate between blueberry and cherry, is how sad the fruit seems.  If the gelato is blue in color and small-looking, it is probably a blueberry.  Cherries, on the other hand, tend to have gambling problems (especially the Bing Cherry) so if the fruit appears to be a risk taker or appears to have a gambling addiction, it is probably a cherry.

Lesson 3: Raspberry vs Blackberry vs Black Raspberry

This is possibly the most challenging task you will ever undertake.  Getting a certification to differentiate black raspberries from blackberries takes at least seven years of non stop schooling. The main difference though, is that blackberries have a green stem visible, while black raspberries are more hollow.  Black berries and black raspberries are purple/blue when squished, and raspberries are red.

Well now, hop out into the world with all this highly interesting and useful knowledge. Use it to get dates!  Use it to impress in-laws!  Use it for your thesis paper!  Or just use it to order gelato!


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