Clearly the archetypal delivery method for blueberries has to be the muffin, right? Lame. Lame! All that those berries are accomplishing is helping you rationalize what is otherwise an enormous engorgement of sugar and butter. Are you one of those people that has a muffin-a-day habit? Please tell me you're not combining it with some frappa-caramel-latte-ccino-mocha-with-sugar-free-syrup-and-half-a-packet-of-Equal-but-make-it-with-skim-milk-so-I-can-have-whipped-cream-too nonsense. I think WAY too highly of you to accept that as truth. Seriously.
Because good blueberries are so fleeting! They just showed up in our stores, and I canNOT express to you how excited we are. I mean, yeah--we definitely get giddy about blood oranges in the winter. And of course strawberries. But those seem kind of predictable, don't you think? Maybe I'm just being cynical--and don't get me wrong, I do love me some strawberry sorbetto--but blueberries are so easily co-opted and processed and finagled into shelf-stable jellies and freezer-ready slurries and pie filling...this is me getting on my "eat what's in season!" high horse again. (What's the difference between blueberry jelly and pie filling anyway?!)
And honestly, Blueberry+Bluecoat sorbetto? Just so good. So good! Blueberries and gin! Weird that I like it so much, given that I'll need you to remember when you're making my martini that I want it as dry and dirty as a Jersey shore back bay that even the crabs won't hang out in.
So listen, quit munging up a perfectly awesome blueberry by swathing it in all kinds of carbohydrates and fats and shenanigans that are just going to make you feel guilty. You don't have to feel guilty about your blueberry fixation! Now's the time for blueberry gelato, but it won't be around forever. Gotta make room for the raspberries!
(not a song about blueberries at all)