If Only the Salem Villagers Were Gluten-Free

Tis nearly Halloween, and that gets me thinking about witches and vampires and blood and guts naturally. My guts, I'm becoming more and more certain everyday, are PRETTY sensitive to wheat products.  To quote Louis CK, "You're not supposed to have to cancel sh** because of what you ate."  I won't elaborate, but having celiac disease or an intolerance to wheat can be a huge bummer to say the least. Forget conventional baked goods. No birthday cake for you. No sticky buns. No pizza. Luckily we have a bunch of gluten-free soups and hummus with veggies for me to snack on at work. But let's get back to the witches and vampires.  Everybody knows the major bullet points of the Salem Witch Trials story. A couple young girls start acting crazy. The adults pressure them to admit their dalliance with the "Devil's Magic." A few months later hundreds of women are accused of witchcraft. Ya know, science. What may be less known is the hypothesis that these young girls may have been poisoned by ergot, a fungus found in wheat and rye. Eating ergot contaminated food can lead to LSD-like delusions and hallucinations, along with muscle spasms and vomiting.  BUT...if you've ever seen the Exorcist, then you know the Devil likes to make you puke.  So, I don't know, they were probably guilty.