Thursday, August 23, 2012

Every day is National Gelato Day when you're the best in the world.

Listen, I really do try to keep things fun and positive 'round these parts, but today I'm pulling out my rant-box.

It's time to get over National [bloody whatever] Holiday.

Do you REALLY need a suggestion to eat a particular food on any given day? It's like walking into a restaurant, ignoring the menu, and telling your server, "Just bring me whatever the most popular dish is." If we all relied on popularity as a determinant of quality, then we'd all be listening to Justin Bieber. THE HORROR.

A few particularly egregious examples? Don't mind if I do!

  • January is National Bread Machine Baking month. Honestly, people. Making bread without getting a little crust of dough along your cuticles is weird. Play with your food! It's good for the soul. 

  • The second week of February is Jell-O Week, and if I knew how to insert one of those little copyright symbols, I apparently should. Is this really anything more than a cynical, transparent attempt at a bump in marketing exposure from the fine folks who have brought us "Oreo Cookies 'n Creme" pudding (always be suspicious of "creme") and "Blackberry Fusion" gelatin (what are the blackberries fused to, inquiring minds want to know?)

  • February 23rd: Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day. I've got nothing for this one. Totally flummoxed.

  • June is National Candy Month, National Fruit and Vegetable Month, and contains National Doughnut Day. Only several acts of Congress could bring you this kind of mixed messaging. My goal for the next ten months is to complete development of a gummy bear studded bok choy doughnut just to be cantankerous. 

  • December 20th: National Sangria Day. The perfect illustration of the wrong-headedness of all of this. It's December. The majority of the country has officially become cold. But let's go ahead and highlight a chilled, fresh fruit infused wine that most people would consider refreshing on a hot summer day. If National Sangria Day is in December, I can only assume that National Mulled Wine Day is in July. 

As best I can tell, there's no National Gelato Day. This is a GOOD thing, I think. Our gelato is perfect all the time. We'll knock your sweaty socks off with raspberry sorbetto in the summer. We'll make you think of the leaves turning in the trees with our zucca gelato in the fall. And the winter? That's when we're all looking out for the blood orange sorbetto, because it is, almost certainly, the best of the best. So come let us give you gelato today. And tomorrow. And a couple of times next week. We love what we make every day, and we genuinely want to share that with you. Come say hi!

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