Friday, December 9, 2011

Meet Andy Phillips

This is Andy. He is, to put it simply, perfect. Andy is the most well meaning, hard-working, kindhearted people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. He makes everyone else look bad by how awesome he is. I wish I could clone him and put one of him at every Capo, just so all of the other managers could experience what an absolute joy he is to have on shift.

Andy is from Effort, PA, which I'm fairly sure is a quaint Christmas village located in the Poconos. His parents are magic elves, and he was brought to them on the wings of a golden stork. Andy has been with the same girl all of his adult life, and spends all of his time trying to think of ways to make her happy. Andy rides a unicorn to work and he bleeds liquid silver. Andy is straight-edge, which we all agree will probably only last until his 21st birthday. His favorite drink is milk and he can frequently be found enjoying a tall cold glass with a chocolate chip cookie. If you all get a chance to meet this gem of a man at the Holiday Party, please go up and awkwardly gaze upon him, for you should all use him as an example of how to be a decent human being.

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