The Sad Story of the Mango Bandito

The Mango Bandito was raised, as you might expect, on a sunny, smiley, hillside farm. As a child though, he was simply called Mango. In fact, it wasn't until a horrible incident involving his father, known around the farm as Pappy Mango, and a notorious gelato chef that Mango came to be known as the Mango Bandito.

With his father and mother's tender touch, Mango Bandito grew up on the happy, smiley farm as a sweet boy ripe with the passions of life; of course, as a young boy, those passions revolved mostly around keeping around his mother and father whom he loved dearly. His life was a simple one; wake up, eat breakfast, read with mom, play with dad, eat some more, get ready for bed. And he imagined his life would always be so simple and lovely. That was of course, until the day the chef from the city arrived on the farm.

The chef, a fancy gelato artisan from the big city about an hour away, was known infamously around the farm as the kind of person who did not bring good fortune to it's residence. The chef, a short man with long eyebrows and an unfriendly smirk, would arrive in a long black limousine; or at least the residences of the farm believed it was a limousine. Some of Mango Bandito's friends even spread a rumor that it was really a space ship that the chef would land on the farm. Truth be told, none of them had seen anything aside from an old blue pick-up truck most of their lives and would believe anything. Of course, expect for Pappy Mango. He had heard the story from his late brother a million times. And Pappy Mango knew that today his fate had come.

The details are too sad to share, but as you might imagine this was the day that Mango became the Mango Banito. After the old man left the farm, Mango Bandito and his mother cried deeply and held each other tight as nightmares raced through their heads of what would become of their beloved Pappy Mango...

The following morning birthed a new life's mission for Mango Bandito, a mission of revenge! But upon weeks of strenuous travel that involved many unspeakable favors to truck drivers and even a van full of nuns, Mango Bandito arrived at the chef's fancy gelato place in the big city to quite a surprise: HE LIKED GELATO!

Yes, it happened after a brief interaction with the old chef in which the overly eyebrowed man insisted Mango Bandito at least try one of his creations before scolding his practices. While on the farm Mango Bandito had heard horror stories of the residences mutilated bodies displayed in glowing cases, in person, the sight was sadly mouth-watering. Throwing himself to his knees, Mango Bandito began to pray to God for his evil temptations, then, remembering what the nuns did to him in the van, Mango Bandito said, "To hell with it, gimme somma that!" as he pointed to Basil...

"Somma THAT too!" pointing to Pineapple Sage...

Needless to say Mango Bandito enjoyed his gelato. In fact, he enjoyed it SO much he begged the old chef to make him into a gelato. With a puzzled look on the chef's face, Mango Bandito sighed, "It is the tradition in my family after all."

The End