Thursday, November 8, 2012

Dear meteorologists: Fired. You're all fired.

Look, this doesn't actually have as much to do with my desire for mountains of snow as you might think. I mean, I DO want mountains of snow, and I'm fairly confident I'll get my wish this winter. (Ducks the various objects thrown his way.)

But between the complete fizzle that was HURRPACOLYPSE SANDY and this stupid little snigglet of a "storm" last night, the local weatherfolk have pretty well compromised whatever predictive credibility that they might have had. "Sandy! Fire, foe, calamity! She shall be the ruin of us all! The Schuykill will be in our living rooms! We won't be able to sleep in our beds because our beds will be full of displaced varmints and blown-over trees! Be afraid! BE VERY AFRAID!!!" and so on and so forth.

(Listen, this is just a goofy little blog post. I've got friends in New York City and my mom lives in Cape May, so I'm REALLY aware that Sandy caused very real heartache and loss, and there are plenty of folk that will need help for a long time to recover. Consider donating to the Red Cross, and our friends at Tattooed Mom's on South Street are hosting what's sure to be a LIVELY fundraiser and auction this Sunday. You should come by! Drink beer for a cause! You may well even run into some of your favorite CapoBosses.)

And then this little thing last night...whatever that was. "Five inches of snow!" they said! "It's gonna be a...thing! Freezing rain and ice pellets and probably frozen muskrats falling from the sky!!!" And what did we get? Cold, unpleasant drizzle and a wee little wind. It's not that I'm kvetching because I enjoy gnarly weather (ducks again). The meteorologists work themselves into a frazzled, over-zealous tizzy and the city can't do anything else but take preventative measures--which they well should, to keep everyone safe. But then when the weather's actually supposed to forecasters can't figure out that there'll be a layer of dry, warmer air that's going to seriously mitigate the effects of the storm? Didn't see that coming, huh? Strong work, chaps.

Anyway. The food! We're now making a RIPPIN' good new gelato pairing our Fior di Latte and a Spodee Wine and raspberry jam. S'prrrrreeettty good! Sweet and fruity and a little boozy. Our Fior is so versatile! Y'all get that it really is the foundation of all of our gelato, right? It's really the heart of what we do, and we're definitely proud of it.

So! Next time you see a meteorologist with his hair on fire, take it with a grain of salt. (Metaphorically. If you see ANYONE--not just a meteorologist--with their hair on fire, do the neighborly thing and help them put it out. It's sort of a thing. Humanity and all that.) But keep your boots handy. I'm guessing that one of these days they're going to totally undersell a storm and THAT'S the one that's going to pummel us.

S'cold out! Soup's on, c'mon in and see us.

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