Bad Santa

So, my BFF is currently at the Ritz and has been texting me nonstop about this foreign film she is watching, Rare Exports (click to view trailer). This movie looks AWESOME. From the trailer it seems like some Finnish dudes drill into an icy mountain and unearth an ancient evil in the form of a psycho-killer Santa Claus. This has prompted me to make a list of awesome holiday horror movies to help get you into the Xmas spirit. Here goes:

Jack Frost. This flick is about a killer snowman who can melt himself and then regenerate. Amazing. There's also a pretty crazy murder scene involving a girl, a shower, and a carrot. Ow, and brrr at the same time.

You have to check out Black Christmas. It's a film that combines a Christmas, a serial killer, sorority girls, and mayhem. Also this film features the brilliant plot twist that the killer is calling from, you guessed it, INSIDE THE HOUSE! Ahhhh!!

Santa's Slay is also a must-see. Basically, it's another killer Santa movie (that guy really needs try some yoga). One of the best scenes in this movie involves someone getting their head set on fire then drowned in egg nog. Epic.

The best Christmas horror movie of all time, however, has got to be Gremlins. Phoebe Cates delivers one of the greatest monologues ever about how she found out that there was no Santa Claus. The only issue that I have with this movie is if you can't shine bright lights on them or get them wet, what fun are they as pets? Also, can you only not feed them after midnight in the central standard or do they just magically know what timezone they're in..? Whatever, in any case, they're ADORABLE.


So Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, kids. Enjoy all the merry-making! Just be sure to lock your doors and double pump your shotguns just in case Santa comes to town. Ho, ho, ho!